I Hate Fantasy Sports

I don’t enjoy gambling like my friends do. Call me crazy, but losing a bunch of money just doesn’t seem fun to me. The one act of gambling I do participate in, however, is Fantasy sports. This is when you and your friends create a league and usually have an entrance fee to get in. You then precede to draft players and pit your teams against each other till there is a champion. I don’t really know why I still play fantasy sports since I inevitably lose every year. Maybe I like the “fantastic” feeling of losing every week due to the worst luck imaginable which I will now document here for you. It all started when we decided to play Fantasy Basketball. I had the first pick in the draft so of course I picked Lebron James. Throughout the season Lebron carried me from victory to victory with relative ease. Then more of the same happened in the playoffs as my team cruised to the championship. This is when Lebron James, for the first and last time, announced he would sit out the final two weeks of the season. My team got destroyed in the championship and I lost hundreds of dollars in the process. You might say, “that’s just a bad coincidence it doesn’t mean you have bad luck”, but it gets worse, much worse. We moved on to the real deal, Fantasy Football. My first inclination that my bad luck would continue was when I was winning a matchup by one point with my kicker to go and my opponent had no one playing. For anyone else this is a guaranteed win, but not for Harry. My kicker ended up missing a couple of kicks to go for a whopping -2 points and hand me a loss. There have been so many instances such as this one throughout my Fantasy Football career that my friends have an on-going joke about my unluckiness. It was all fun and games until people started getting hurt. That’s right, it literally became dangerous to be drafted by me. I almost ruined tight end Jordan Reeds football career. I drafted him for the first time one year and he kept getting injured. He is a great player so the next year I drafted him once again. This time my luck was forcing him to get concussion after concussion so I dropped him for his own good. The year after that he was having an amazing season so I made the terrible decision to trade for him and what happens as soon as he’s on my team? He gets ANOTHER concussion and I felt so bad that I dropped him again. Since then he has enjoyed a wonderful career unhampered by being on my team. By now your undoubtedly thinking, “how on Gods green earth can this possibly get any worse?”.  Well, my friends, I just suffered a week straight out of Game of Thrones. I drafted the best player in Fantasy Football (David Johnson) this year with the number one pick and what do you know, he gets hurt in the first game of the year and wont be back for four months. Isn’t that just wonderful! Another one of my players is gone for the year and I apologize to both David Johnson and Allen Robinson for drafting them. These events aren’t coincidences, this is the work of the Fantasy gods who enjoy to watch me cry. Now I’m starting to figure out that I hate Fantasy Football because as I said before, there is no fun in throwing away money. At this point all I can do is laugh as my friends, to their extreme delight, take my money and my happiness. Hey, maybe this all means I’ll win the lotto some day, who knows.

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